Well hello my fellow Football Fans, and welcome to the third installment of Willard's Winners for 2007. Willard did not fare so well last week. He is extremely upset about last weeks debacle in Athens. He does not understand why there is not an ongoing investigation into the obvious cheating that took place there last Saturday. He said, and I quote; "Everybody knows that the Ole' ball coach is cheating, cause there is no way his kickin' chickens could beat my DAWGS. Why doesn't the NCAA do something about it!" I am a little worried about him, he hasn't even touched his eggs and pig brains this week. It's his favorite you know.
Well, enough of that. Here are Willard's Winners for week 3:
West Virginia vs. Maryland: The Poor Mountaineers of Morgantown will invade College Park looking to keep their families fed on some Turtle Stew. Coach Friedgen and his Terrible Terrapins will try to defend their shell. Oh, those Terrapins will snap a few times, and even hold onto those Mountaineers for a while, but in the end the Mountaineers will consume some Turtle consomme. Willard's Winner... West Virginia
Central Michigan vs. Perdue: Whoa Nellie! What a barn burner, that nobody, and Willard means NOBODY cares about. Willard's Winner...Whoever does not have to watch this game!
Mississipi St. vs. Auburn: Coach Croom and his Bullpups will wander onto the Plain this weekend looking to chew the corner of Auburn's finest Sofa. Coach T and his Tigers have already rolled up their newspapers and will swat that Bullpup! Willard's Winner...Auburn
Notre Dame vs. Michigan: The 0 and 2 Fighting Irish will face off against the 0 and 2 Wolverines this weekend......(Sorry, Willard couldn't talk through the laughter...). The Golden Domers will tie one on trying to get loose for this game, but Coach Carr's job is on the line, so his Blue and Maize Boys will be on the attack. At the end of an ugly game, it is only a shame; that both can't lose. Willard's Winner... Michigan
Arkansas vs. Alabama: The Razorbacks of Arkansas will make the trip south to Tuscaloosa hoping to root around and find a win. Coach Saban's Pachyderms have stomped that field flat the past couple of weeks hoping to make it hard to dig up. There is just one problem, they just didn't stomp the endzone enough, so Coach Nutt's pigletts will find that soft soil, and just waller there for a while. Willard's Winner... Arkansas
USC vs. Nebraska: Well, Pete Carroll will find himself in an unfamiliar place this weekend. I am sure that he has protested, and the NCAA has told him he must play. You see, coach Carroll does not play more than 2 top 25 teams a season, and this year he may have to play 3. But enough tongue in cheek.
The Boys from Troy will sail their mighty armada to Lincoln looking to steal a stack of corn big enough to feed their mighty army for a National Championship run. Those cornfed farmboys from Nebraska's fields may not know much about swordsmanship, but they can put up a fight. The Cornhuskers will fill their tractors with ethanol and try to shuck the Trojans, but in the end those Trojan swords will jam up the Cornhusker's works. Willard's Winner... USC. (Extra Comments have been Edited for content)
Boston College vs. Georgia Tech: Whoa Nellie! What a game! The Beantown Brawlers vs. the Ramblin' Wreck. Willard must say, that though he hates GA Tech, he is pleasantly surprised by their gumption this year. He told me: The Beantown Badboys will swagger into Atlanta determined to steal that Floppy Georgia Tech Jaloppy. The Beantown Badboys will find out however that those bees have stingers!
Willard's Winner...In the Donnybrook Game of the Week (and it is painful to say) Georgia Tech
Tennesse vs. Florida: Coach Fulmer will march his Volunteer Army to the Swamp looking to feed off of a little Gator tail. They really enjoyed that succulent appetizer last time they were there. Unfortunately, Coach Fulmer will find out that Coach Meyer has toughened those Gators up, and they are just not sweet anymore. The Vols will fire a few rounds into that tough Gator flesh, but the Vols will feel that Gator chomp...in the end... . Willard's Winner... Florida
And last But certainly not least...
Western Carolina vs. Georgia: The Catamounts will leave their dens in the Mountains of Carolina descending to the fair hills of Athens looking for a morsel of Bulldog meat. After being pecked silly by those Cheating Chickens, the Bulldogs are licking their wounds this week. The Catamounts are looking to capitalize and catch those Dawgs while they are wounded. They will find out that THAT DAWG WILL BITE YOU! Willard's Winner... Georgia
Thursday, September 13, 2007
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2 comments:
chris,
you sound a lot like a radio feature that i used to love to listen to called leonard's losers. you remember him?
also, my wife's maiden name was mckinney. she's from w. tn. any possibility that yall are kin?
david
volfan007
Of course I remember Leonard's Losers. Leonard is my cousin's hero, and the muse for Willard's Winners.
There is always a possibility of us being kin, but most of my folks are from south Georgia.
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