Willard's Winners Week 2

Hey there folks, Willard walked down to the Sac N' Suds and gave me a call with this weeks picks. Peruse them and tell me what you think.


West Virginia vs. Eastern Carolina: The Mountain Men from Morgantown will descend from their lofty lands looking to shoot it out with the Pirates from Eastern Carolina. West Virginia's sharp shooters are trained and quick. They will load those squirrel guns and blast away at Skipper Skip Holtz's Schooner, but Captain Holtz's Buccaneers are tough and will repel the Mountaineer attack.
Willard's Winner... Eastern Carolina

Oregon St. vs. Penn St.: The Beavers from the wild wild west are heading to Happy Valley to build a log jam in Penn State's BCS bowl hopes. The Beavers will gnaw on and fell some of those sweet Pensylvania Poplars, but Joe Pa will have his Nittany Lions growling mad. The will descend out of the hills and devour the pesky rodents of Corvalis.
Willard's Winner... Penn St.

Marshall vs. Wisconsin: Willard's Winner... Whoever does not have to watch this game!

South Carolina vs. Vanderbilt: Spurrier's Chickens put a peckin' on the Wolfpack of N.C. State last week. The Pullet's are prancing around like a single rooster in a hen coop. Spurrier will lead his Gamecocks up to Nashville with the aim of keeping keeping their winning ways rolling. The Ole Ball Coach will have those chickens ready to scratch, but will find the Commodore's fleet a bit tougher than the Wimppack. The Commodore will train his guns on the Chickens but will find them hard to hit, and Spurrier's boys will rule the roost.
Willard's Winner... South Carolina

Miami vs. Florida: The Tropical Depressions from South Florida will move their depressing form of ball north to Gainesville. They will spit rain and blow a little, but Mayer's Gators are tough skinned and used to these kinds of storms. The swamp may fill up a bit, but the Gators will weather this storm.
Willard's Winner: As much as Willard hates to say it... Florida


And last but not least:

Central Michigan vs. Georgia: The Chippewas of Central Michigan are on the warpath wanting to count coup and collect a few Bulldog pelts. Coach Richt and his hounds have a juicy steak dangling in front of them and the Chippewas are in the way. The Native Americans may shoot a few arrows, but they will find out that, that Dawg will bite you!
Willard's Winner... Georgia!

Whooaa Nellie!

Well gang, college football is back, and so is Willard. As you know, Bonnie and I were married in the middle of the football season last year, so Willard refused to call me with his prognostications. He told me that he read in the Bible that the men of Israel were not to go to war the first year that they were married, so he figured I shouldn't be bothered with blogging his prognostications. He, however, is excited about this season because his beloved Dawgs are ranked #1 and has called me from the Sac n' Suds with his picks for this opening weekend of College Football. So, without delay, and with no further adieu: Here are Willard's Winners...

North Carolina State vs. South Carolina: The Wolves from the north will wander to the southern feasting grounds hunting for a few chickens to devour. Coach Spurrier's Pullets have strengthened their coop over the last few years, and are ready to come to scratch. The Wolfpack will encircle Columbia, but Spurrier's Fightin' Chickens will peck their way to a victory.

Willard's Winner: South Carolina

Wake Forest vs. Baylor: The Demon Deacons of Wake Forest have called a special meetin' to discuss the activities of the pastors in training at Baylor. The Deacon offensive committee will inspect the Preacher's philosophy on football, and find it liberal at giving up points.

Willard's Winner: Wake Forest

USC vs. Virginia: The boys from Troy will load their ships heavy with armor and swords setting sail to raid Charlottesville. The Queen's men defended the Queen quite well last year, but their most valiant Cavalier has moved on to the senior league. The Cavaliers with defend their castle valiantly, but the Trojans will steal away with a win. Willard's Winner: Them danged ole Trojans

Akron vs. Wisconsin: Willard's Winner: Whoever is not forced to watch this game!

Whoa Nellie! the Donnybrook GAME OF THE WEEK!

Alabama vs. Clemson: The Crimson Pachyderms from Tuscaloosa will travel I-20 to Death Valley trying to stomp on Coach Bowden and his Cheetahs. The Crimson Pachyderms have mad a lot of noise with their elongated snouts the last couple of seasons, but Cheetahs will run all around them this weekend. Willard's Winner: Clemson

Last, but certainly not least:

Georgia Southern vs. Georgia: The Screamin' Eagles of Georgia Southern are flying north to the Junk Yard looking to pluck Coach Richt's chances for a National Championship right out of his hands. The Dawgs are a few pups shy of their usual pack, but are ready to cancel the Eagles' flight plans. The Eagles will claw and peck a bit, but won't have any of the magical waters of Eagle creek to refresh them. All they will see is a pack of wild hounds and some tall hedges to hem them in. Willard's Winner: Georgia!

You might have noticed the picture at the top. Willard wanted me to tell you about his best friend BillyJoe. BillyJoe entered the Redneck Olympics this year. He competed in the Individual Mud Hole Belly Flop. This was his first Olympics and he came away with the Gold (plated) Trophy! Way to go BillyJoe!

Some funny stuff...

Hey gang,

In case you were wondering, here is one of the things you do to kill time when you don't have a job. I found these funny t-shirts for my and your amusement.

Expelled...No Intelligence Allowed...

This past week I went to see Ben Stein's new movie, Expelled, No Intelligence Allowed. It was an interesting and well produced expose of the supression of academic freedom in the area of science. Stein tells the story of a scientist at the Smithsonian Institute that had the audacity to publish an article that mentioned intelligent design theory. This scientist was removed from his position and ostracised in the scientific community. Stein then shows that this was not an isolated incident, and that this is in fact the modus operadi for the scientific community.

Stein then goes on to interview many of the Atheist Darwinist elite. Stein does an excellent job of asking pertinent questions of those devoted to Darwin, and shows that they are holding fast to their Darwinist pre-suppositions, and squashing freedom to protect their own held beliefs. They are squashing academic freedom to protect their priviledged places rather than pursuing truth. Stein effectively shows that there is no room for those proposing Intelligent Design in the Darwinist controlled playground. He shows that the Darwinists are acting off of their own presuppositions and not scientific enquiry. Stein shows that the current Godless, Darwinist paradigm is in crisis, and is fighting to preserve itself.

Some important points for Christians:

• Remember Ben Stein is not a Christian, and his main purpose is not to promote the truth that there is one God, the father of Jesus Christ, who is our intelligent designer.
• Notice that all that promote Intelligent Design are not our friends. Some I.D. promoters would say that the ones who provided the intelligent design that makes up our cells, systems, world, galaxy, etc; are in fact aliens and not Yahweh our creator.

Some funny moments in the movie:

• Make sure to note the lunacy of the scientist who claims that the first cell came into being when strands of protiens joined together on the backs of mutated crystals. This guy thinks this is good science and good thinking!
• Pay attention to the end of the movie when Ben Stein backs Richard Dawkins into a corner about where the first atom/cells came from. Watch how Dawkins squirms, angers, and refuses to answer Stein's question.

Saddest moment in the movie:

• There is a scientist who has survived cancer, and states that he is waiting for it to return. He gives an explanation that shows the sadness of living without God in your life. This scientist takes Darwinism to the logical extreme which shows that there is no freedom in Darwinism. That is to say, in Darwinism, all things are pre-determined, and there is absolutely no freedom of the will or action. The logical outcome of Darwinism is that there is no afterlife, and therefore no hope for mankind. Since there is no hope for mankind then we all might as well wait to die, which is what this scientist is waiting for. No hope for him in this life or the next. May it be that the Gospel would find him and that he might be saved. Therefore, Christian; sing a new song to the LORD for the love and hope he has given to you through Jesus Christ!

Chattahoochie National Forrest

Bon and I had a wonderful day in the Chattahoochie National Forrest. We drove around, saw the sights, and enjoyed sitting and watching the river go by. Bonnie enjoyed throwing rocks in the river. It was a good break from the hustle and bustle of our normal everyday lives.

Just found a gem...

Hey guys, thanks for being part of my wedding, and my life.

Y'all are great.

Sorry if I offend...

I have been reading a good bit on the Emerging Church here lately. All that I have read shows me a group that is seriously misguided and theologically dangerous. Now don't start on me that I am lumping the good with the bad, I can't spend time naming names: this one good, this one bad. However, in my reading and research I did find some disturbing things and these interesting pics.

From my understanding, here is the real problem with those who lead the Emerging Church. These guys have the issue of authority completely wrong. They are enslaved to their feelings and to deconstruction ideals and reject Biblical authority. They would never admit to that fact but in practice they do. Most Emergents have a wrong or poor understanding of the Doctrine of Sin, and thereby are missinformed in every other part of their Theology.

A poor understanding of sin and the absolute need for atonement for that sin breeds arrogance like this. True understanding of your fallen estate will keep you humble and away from thoughts like this.

I believe that the Emerging Church's view of the Church is one of the real danger they pose.

A weak stance on heaven and hell, and the doctrine of sin will bite you in all sorts of ways.

Yes, there are many portions of scripture that cause us to think. However, God has revealed himself and truth is possible to obtain through that revelation. We have answers, and right ones at that. We can be confident in our answers because the one from who we receive our answers, is perfect in his knowledge and in perfect in his presentation of his answers.

I'd like to think I was as cool as the other side of the pillow, but...

So, one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me happened this weekend. I was in Fort Worth for my friend Nathan's graduation. I had a great time catching up with my friends. The weekend was great, but Sunday proved a great surprise for me.

I was in the airport, waiting on my flight home, when who should I see but one of my childhood idols, Herschel Walker! Most of you will probably not understand this, but any boy growing up in Georgia in the 1980's only has one real hero, Herschel. Herschel was and still is the best running back ever to grace a football field. He embarrassed defenses and flattened defenders all over the SEC and the rest of the College Football universe. Herschel set the record for most yards rushing as a freshman, and won the Heisman Trophy in 1982. He certainly would have won it again, but rather chose to leavc Georgia early for pro ball. Folks, where I come from Herschel is a legend. He is the best thing since boiled peanuts, and to talk bad about him is akin to talking bad about somebody's Mamma.

But I digress, So I am sitting in my little chair in the airport, when what do my eyes behold, but my hero walking through the terminal. I immediately rubbed my eyes and looked again to make sure that it was all real, and it was! Herschel Walker, right there, not 20 yards away from me! I knew right then and there that this was my chance to meet my hero. So I did what every real Georgia fan would do, I stalked Herschel till the poor fellow had a seat. Luckily, he was on the same flight I was, so he actually walked right over to where I had been sitting. I took a deep breath, mustered up all the cool I had in me, and as non-chalantly as I could, I walked over to Herschel, stuck out my hand, and shook Herschel's hand. He smiled that big Herschel smile and said hello. I stumbled through hello, and it's nice to meet you. Herschel told me hello and ended with God Bless You. I am not real sure if he said anything else. I left and went back to my seat feeling like a dork, but a dork who met one of his heroes.

One observation: When we arrived in Atlanta, everyone on the plane went down to get their bags, and then go home. While waiting on our bags, Herschel was mobbed by a gang of ravenous fans. He signed every autograph that was asked for, and even talked with one guys wife on the phone he jammed in Herschel's face. He did it all with great grace and kindness, and ended every interaction with the words: God Bless You. Herschel could have been a jerk, grabbed his bag and run out of the airport,(Which one of us could have cought him, or tackled him!) but rather he showed how class an act he really is.

I think this is the real reason Herschel is so dearly loved in Georgia. Yes, he carried our hopes and dreams with that football. Yes, he was immensely talented, and did some amazing things on the pitch. Herschel laid flat all those bullies we wanted to squash ourselves. And yes, Herschel helped us feel like winners even when we had no real part of the teams he was on. But the real reason we love Herschel Walker is that he did all those things, the bowl wins, the thousands of yards, the Heisman, et al; with great class and poise. Herschel Walker is a hero you can respect. Barry who?

Some wedding pics...

Hey Gang,

Here are some pics of our wedding. Please feel free to share with us any that you might have taken. We would love to have them. Wicked Mad Props to Donna McDonnall for these beauties.

Here are my beautiful Bride and I.

The Most Beautiful ladies to ever have graced Jacksonville Beach, FL

None of whom are cursed!

Thanks to all of you who helped make our wedding special. We love you all and appreciate the sacrifices you made to be a part of our wedding. Thank You.

Angela and Geo recessing

Lar Lar and Natron doing the same.

The Wedding Party, the Pastor, and the Parents

More pics from Curacao...

There were tons of things to do in Curacao.

Being an island, there are all kinds of water sports.

Curacao is known for its scuba diving.

Just off the beach 40 yards from the beach, you could see all kinds of fish and corals.

There were also a lot of people who went sea kayaking.

The Seadoo was used to tow people past the waves.

Working for this company must be a hard job, because they had

hammocks for the workers to nap in on the side of the building!

This is the Otrobanda side of Willemstad as seen from the Punda side.

Here, Bo is standing on the Queen Emma Pontoon Bridge in Willemstad.

It crosses the waterway separating the two sides of the city.

Thousands of people cross over this bridge everyday, but the waterway is also used by ships.

So, sometimes they take the bridge and swing it out of the way for ships to pass.

People just wait on the bridge for it to be put back in place, so that they

can go about their business.

This is the Reception area of the Marriott Hotel.

In front of me is the beautiful waterfall.

Behind me is the wonderful vaulted ceilieng and entryway.
And Yes, the reception area of this hotel is open air!
Bo and I were greeted when we arrived with a glass

of cold fruit juice and a cold towel to refreshen us.

Here is another beautiful Curacao sunset.

Y'all didn't know I was famous did you...

Y'all will not believe what happened to me today! I was eating breakfast in McDonald's up on Signal Mountain this morning, minding my own business, when this kid comes up to me and asks: "Are you that guy that builds motorcycles on TV?" I told him I was not, and he ran quickly to his Mom. A couple of bites of Sausage biscuit later, this woman walks up to me with her kid and a digital camera. She proceeds to ask me if I would take a picture with her son. I went on to tell her that I was not who she thought I was, but she insisted that I was. She kept on asking if her son could get his picture made with me, and explained that she loved watching me on the Discovery Channel. It got to the point that I had to show her my driver's license so that she would believe I was not Paul Teutel Sr. It was comical. But my real question is:

Do I look this old?

A Few more Honeymoon pics...

Well, here they are, a couple more pics of our holiday in Curacao!

This is a picture of our hotel from the ocean in front of it.

Bo and I had this beach to ourselves for a few hours one day.

This is the Pool at the Marriott.

One day, Bo and I went for a cruise on a sailboat, the Insulinde.

Here are Bo and I on the ship.

We went snorkeling and swimming.

The cruise was great.

This is the Avila Hotel. Bo and I went to

the hut on the right to eat one night.

The restaraunt was called Blues, and had live

music by a local band the night we went.

It was great.

Back from the Honeymoon...

Hey Gang,

As most of you know, Bo and I were hitched on the 28th of September. What I remember of it was beautiful. I thank all of you that had a part in the Wedding.

Bo and I then headed to Curacao, Netherlands Antilles for our Honeymoon. We had a wonderful time. The weather was great, and the scenery wonderful. We stayed at a beautiful hotel, with all the ammenities one could ask for. We played at the beach, shopped in Willemstad (the capitol), and even went on a cruise where we snorkeled, and swam in the crystal blue waters. We had a GREAT time.

Below are just a few of the pictures we took while on Holiday in Curacao.

Here are my Beautiful Bride and I getting ready to eat dinner on the beach

with a beautiful Curacao sunset

The colors in Curacao are bright and fun. These are some tables

that sat next to where Bo and I hung out on the beach.

You can see the thatched huts in the background.

Here is the view from our room. We stayed on the first floor,

and woke to this view everyday. Palm trees, beautiful green grass

and the sound of the ocean about 40 yards away!

This is Willemstad, the capital of Curacao. All of the buildings are painted with these beautiful pastel colors. As you will notice, the buildings are built in the Dutch style. Curacao was settled by the Dutch, and is still governed by Holland.

This is an alleyway in Willemstad.

Sorry, but I had to do this.
Here I am at the beach. You will notice my brightly colored cap.
I made friends with a Dutchman who is hair challenged like myself.
Dik, who is about 6'2", pretty big, and has tatoos all over his body
crochets caps like this one in his spare time. He saw the sunburn on top of my head
and told me that he would give me a cap to help keep the sun off my head.
Later that evening I hear Dik yelling, "Chris, Chris, here is your hat!"
It did a great job of keeping me from getting sunburned!

Willard's Winners... Week 3...

Well, Willard has a new job. He had been counting on his Prognosticatin' and his Dirt Track Racin' to pay the bills, but it hasn't worked out. It seems Willard lost all of his dirt track races because he was too careful a driver. You see Willard's Mom always told him, that if there is someone driving too fast behind you , then you should let them pass you and go on. He did it every race, and lost them everyone. It has worked out for the best though. Mr. Harve Newman wanted to start a new limo company, and was looking for a driver. When he heard about Willard's good driving record, he hired him on the spot!

Well, enough of that. Here are Willard's Winners...

Texas A&M vs. Miami: The Corp of Cadets from College Station will march their way to beautiful Miami looking to have a little fun in the sun. The Hurricanes will spit a sprinkle or two, but the Aggies will weather this storm. Willard's Winner... Texas A&M

William & Mary vs. Virginia Tech: Willard said he doesn't understand why the NCAA would allow two teams to join together against one team. But he did say this, even though William & Mary get to play together against the Hokies, they had better watch out 'cause those Turkey's will put a peckin' on you. Willard's Winner... Virginia Tech

Penn St. vs. Michigan: The Wolverines showed a little of the tenacity that they are known for last week. This week they will welcome Joe Pa's Nittany Lions to the Big Den in Ann Arbor. The Wolverines will bear their teeth and claws, but the Nittany Lions will find the Wolverines a meaty morsel. Willard's Winner... Penn St.

Michigan State vs. Notre Dame: The Notre Dame faithfull are surely offering Hail Mary's and Our Fathers at a blistering pace for this debacle of a season. The Fightin' Irish will come ready to clash with the Spartans, but it will be the Celts that go home on their shields.
Willard's Winner... Michigan State


Maryland vs. Wake Forrest: The Terrapins from College Park will lumber their way south to take on the Demon Deacons of Wake Forrest. Those Demon Deacons will get together in a dark corner somewhere and raise a bit of ruckuss in this called meeting. But those Turtles have a tough shell. Willard's Winner... Maryland

Texas Tech vs. Oklahoma St.: The Red Raiders will lead their gang into Stillwater looking to wrangle a few choice cattle from the Cowboys' herd. A lot of lead will be thrown down that field, by both sides, but in the end the boys from Stillwater will be a little handier with the steel.
Willard's Winner... Oklahoma St.


Kentucky vs. Arkansas: Whoa Nellie! Since when did Kentucky become a football school? After last weeks whoopin' of Louisville, the Wildcats will wander west to Arkansas looking to claw the Razorbacks. After the Big Tussle in Tuscaloosa the Hogs are a little tired and the waller is vulnerable to Wildcat attack. But in the end the two hoss Hogs will run all over the Wildcats.
Willard's Winner... Arkansas

Iowa vs. Wisconsin: Willard's Winner... Whoever does not have to watch this game!

And Last But Certainly Not Least!

Georgia vs. Alabama: Coach Saban has his Red Pachyderms believing that they are the best team in the SEC, and they are playing pretty close to it. Coach Richt and his Junk Yard Dawgs will march to Tuscaloosa looking to put a bite onto the Pachyderm Parade. The Crimson Tide faithful are ravenous this year, and will be unhospitable towards our Silver Britches. The Red Wave will wash over the Bulldogs several times, but Uga will be chained tight and won't wash away. Willard's Winner... Georgia!

I can't believe I am actually saying this, but I believe that the Dawgs just aren't tough enough this year to beat coach Saban's Crimson Tide.

Willard's Winners Week 3...

Well hello my fellow Football Fans, and welcome to the third installment of Willard's Winners for 2007. Willard did not fare so well last week. He is extremely upset about last weeks debacle in Athens. He does not understand why there is not an ongoing investigation into the obvious cheating that took place there last Saturday. He said, and I quote; "Everybody knows that the Ole' ball coach is cheating, cause there is no way his kickin' chickens could beat my DAWGS. Why doesn't the NCAA do something about it!" I am a little worried about him, he hasn't even touched his eggs and pig brains this week. It's his favorite you know.

Well, enough of that. Here are Willard's Winners for week 3:

West Virginia vs. Maryland: The Poor Mountaineers of Morgantown will invade College Park looking to keep their families fed on some Turtle Stew. Coach Friedgen and his Terrible Terrapins will try to defend their shell. Oh, those Terrapins will snap a few times, and even hold onto those Mountaineers for a while, but in the end the Mountaineers will consume some Turtle consomme. Willard's Winner... West Virginia

Central Michigan vs. Perdue: Whoa Nellie! What a barn burner, that nobody, and Willard means NOBODY cares about. Willard's Winner...Whoever does not have to watch this game!

Mississipi St. vs. Auburn: Coach Croom and his Bullpups will wander onto the Plain this weekend looking to chew the corner of Auburn's finest Sofa. Coach T and his Tigers have already rolled up their newspapers and will swat that Bullpup! Willard's Winner...Auburn

Notre Dame vs. Michigan: The 0 and 2 Fighting Irish will face off against the 0 and 2 Wolverines this weekend......(Sorry, Willard couldn't talk through the laughter...). The Golden Domers will tie one on trying to get loose for this game, but Coach Carr's job is on the line, so his Blue and Maize Boys will be on the attack. At the end of an ugly game, it is only a shame; that both can't lose. Willard's Winner... Michigan

Arkansas vs. Alabama: The Razorbacks of Arkansas will make the trip south to Tuscaloosa hoping to root around and find a win. Coach Saban's Pachyderms have stomped that field flat the past couple of weeks hoping to make it hard to dig up. There is just one problem, they just didn't stomp the endzone enough, so Coach Nutt's pigletts will find that soft soil, and just waller there for a while. Willard's Winner... Arkansas

USC vs. Nebraska: Well, Pete Carroll will find himself in an unfamiliar place this weekend. I am sure that he has protested, and the NCAA has told him he must play. You see, coach Carroll does not play more than 2 top 25 teams a season, and this year he may have to play 3. But enough tongue in cheek.
The Boys from Troy will sail their mighty armada to Lincoln looking to steal a stack of corn big enough to feed their mighty army for a National Championship run. Those cornfed farmboys from Nebraska's fields may not know much about swordsmanship, but they can put up a fight. The Cornhuskers will fill their tractors with ethanol and try to shuck the Trojans, but in the end those Trojan swords will jam up the Cornhusker's works. Willard's Winner... USC. (Extra Comments have been Edited for content)

Boston College vs. Georgia Tech: Whoa Nellie! What a game! The Beantown Brawlers vs. the Ramblin' Wreck. Willard must say, that though he hates GA Tech, he is pleasantly surprised by their gumption this year. He told me: The Beantown Badboys will swagger into Atlanta determined to steal that Floppy Georgia Tech Jaloppy. The Beantown Badboys will find out however that those bees have stingers!
Willard's Winner...In the Donnybrook Game of the Week (and it is painful to say) Georgia Tech

Tennesse vs. Florida: Coach Fulmer will march his Volunteer Army to the Swamp looking to feed off of a little Gator tail. They really enjoyed that succulent appetizer last time they were there. Unfortunately, Coach Fulmer will find out that Coach Meyer has toughened those Gators up, and they are just not sweet anymore. The Vols will fire a few rounds into that tough Gator flesh, but the Vols will feel that Gator chomp...in the end... . Willard's Winner... Florida

And last But certainly not least...

Western Carolina vs. Georgia: The Catamounts will leave their dens in the Mountains of Carolina descending to the fair hills of Athens looking for a morsel of Bulldog meat. After being pecked silly by those Cheating Chickens, the Bulldogs are licking their wounds this week. The Catamounts are looking to capitalize and catch those Dawgs while they are wounded. They will find out that THAT DAWG WILL BITE YOU! Willard's Winner... Georgia

Willard's Winners Week 2...

Willard was nine for twelve last week. He is still reeling from the Appalachian State win over Michigan. He, like many others contemplated leaving the prognostication world after that debacle. I have reminded him that "Prognosticatin' " is his calling, so Willard said he would keep sending me his picks for a little while.

Y'all might not remember, but this Saturday is Willard's Birthday. He will be__, well, we don't really know when Willard was born. You see Willard flooded the trailer when he was four. Willard and his folks lived near the river. Willard's Mom used to send Willard outside to play, and he threw sticks and logs in the river all the time. One year, a heavy rain came, and the dam Willard built backed up that water, and floated the singlewide off the foundation. It was never seen again. (More later about this. Boy do I have a picture and story about this.)

But anyway, Back to Willard. Willard's Momma sent me a picture of last year's cake. I thought you might want to see it.

Well, enough of that, here are Willard's Winners...

Miami vs. Oklahoma: The Hurricanes are moving deep inland to the plains of Oklahoma looking to rain on the Sooner parade. The Hurricanes will push forward their best Storm Surge, but the Boomer Schooner will send these Hurricanes home with a Tropical Depression. Willard's Winner... Oklahoma

Duke vs. Virginia: What a game this will be. The real question in this one is if either team will actually score! These are the two worst teams in the ACC, and that is where the tension for this game arises. Both teams will want to win, so as to stay out of the ACC cellar. The Blue Devils will do their best to stab the Queen's men with their pitchforks, but the Cavaliers will parry the Duke thrust, and strike with their rapiers. Willard's Winner... Virginia

West Virginia vs. Marshall: The Thundering Herd of Marshall will try a repeat of last week's cinderella story by trampling the Mountaineers of West Virginia. But the herd is a little smaller and slower than it used to be, and the Mountaineers will dwindle the herd a little more with their accurate rifles. Willard's Winner... West Virginia

NC State vs. Boston College: Coach Tom O'Brien and his Ravenous Wolfpack will head to Beantown looking to pluck the Eagles of Boston College. The wolves will circle and pounce but in the end, the Eagles will feast on Wolf flesh. Willard's Winner... Boston College

Fresno State vs. Texas A&M: The Bulldogs of Fresno State will wander down to College Station this weekend trying to steal a little bit of Reveille's kibble. The Cadets will be on their guard, and the cheer team will call the Aggies to come carve that California Canine. Willard's Winner... Texas A&M

Southern Miss vs. Tennessee: The Rebels from Oxford will march their army up the Tennessee River to Knoxville to squabble with the embattled Volunteer Army. The boys in Blue and Red will give a mighty Rebel yell, but the boys in Orange will repel the Rebel attack. Willard's Winner... Tennessee

Miami of Ohio vs. Minnesota: Willard's Winner... Whoever does not have to watch this game!

Notre Dame vs. Penn St.: The hot blooded Celts from Southbend will be looking to get their Irish up after last weeks shillelagh shellacking at the hands of the Yellowjackets. The Fightin' Irish will bring their best brawl to Happy Valley only to find Joe Pa's Nittany Lions with bared teeth and claws. Willard's Winner... Penn St.

TCU vs. Texas: Mack Brown's Bovine's are calling the Vet looking for some serious medicine to cure their slowstartitis. This week, the Horned Frogs of TCU will scamper to Austin looking to spread a little reptile rhematism to the Longhorns. The Horned Frogs will scamper all over that field, and even into the endzone several times, but in the end will meet a Longhorn's hoof. Willard's Winner... In a good game... Texas

Virginia Tech vs. LSU: Whoa Nellie! Beamer Ball is heading to Red Stick to face off with the Bayou Bengals. The hardened Hokies will bring their special brand of stick it to ya special teams and stifling defense to Death Valley looking to peck the Tigers into submission. Les Miles' Tigers will bring their daunting defense too, and will show how tough their offensive hides are as well. Willard's Winner...In the Donnybrook game of the Week... LSU

And last but certainly not least...

South Carolina vs. Georgia: The DEVIL's goin' down to Georgia looking for a win to steal. He's in a bind, cause he's way behind and he's willing to make a deal.

The Ole' Ball Coach has rosined up his bow,and will try to play that Gamecock fiddle hard but he'll find that heaven's broke loose at Georgia and Coach Richt deals the cards! Willard's Winner... Georgia!

Willard's Back...

Well, I called my Aunt and got the number to the Sac O' Suds near where my cousin Willard is staying. He had to sneak out in the middle of the night to get away from Charlene. (She is a little more violent than we knew about.) But enough of that. Willard is excited about another College Football season. As a matter of fact, when I called him he yelled into the phone the whole time. I explained that I could hear him well, but he kept on yelling. He said he was as excited as coondog on a trail, so I just held the phone away from my ear. (Y'all pray for Bonnie as she is marrying into my family, and will have to put up with Willard calling every week.)

Well, without further guiding of the lily and with no more adieu:
Here is the First Installment of
Willard's Winners 2007:

Buffalo vs. Rutgers: The Buffs will thunder down to Jolly ole Jersey looking to graze heavily on the Queen's Pasture. However, the Scarlet Knights from Jersey's fair plains will break three lances on the boys from Buffalo becoming the champions of the field. Willard's Winner... Rutgers

Murray St. vs. Louisville: The Cardinals of Kentucky will fly high over the Racers of Murray St. Willard's Winner...Louisville. It's hard to get excited about some games!

LSU vs. Mississippi St.: Those fake bullpups from Starkville should not tread on Georgia's fine mascot, and Les Miles' Bayou Bengals will give them a good comeupance so that they might learn from their mistakes. Willard's Winner... LSU

Weber St. vs. Boise St. : Willard said that this would be a fine game to watch if you liked to watch gimmick teams that can't really play football. He says that he is waiting to see how Boise St. does this year before he calls them legit. But he did say the Broncos would win this one. Willard's Winner... Boise St.

Eastern Carolina vs. Virginia Tech: The Pirates of Eastern Carolina will sail into beautiful Blacksburg looking to pillage some of that Hokie gold, but Beamer and his tough old gamebirds will peck the fool out of the purple Pirates, sending them home with a horrible headache. Willard's Winner... Virginia Tech!

Idaho vs. USC: The Vandals will descend down the mountains to sunny Southern California looking to tan themselves and get rich at the Trojan's expense. Little do they know that Troy has once again recruited some of the best warriors that Asia Minor has to offer. The Vandals will find Troy unhospitable, and will leave horribly defeated. Willard's Winner... USC.
(Y'all just don't know how much I had to edit this one. Willard hates USC)

Florida St. vs. Clemson: Those South Carolina Cheatahs have sharpened their claws and brought a mighty good fight to North Florida's best Braves over the last couple of years. This year the Seminoles will take the attack to the Tiger's den. Death Valley will be a rockin', and the Cheatahs will claw and spit, but in the end, Bowden's Braves will spear themselves some tiger meat. Willard's Winner... Florida St.

Baylor vs. TCU: The Fightin' Baptists from Baylor will make the two hour drive north to Fort Worth looking to Convert those Horned Disciples of Christ. They will try an evangelism explosion, and run a few steps to peace with God, and will even try to keep the FAITH, but in the end those Baylor Boys will find those Horned Frogs too thick skinned to convert.
Willard's Winner... TCU

Georgia Tech vs. Notre Dame: Willard says that this battle of the Gold Domers will be one of the better games of the day. The Ramblin' Wreck will drive that floppy jaloppy to South Bend looking to steal a victory from the Friars. Who knows, with no Reggie Ball, they might actually do it! Who are we kiddin', the prayers of the Notre Dame faithful will availeth much.
Willard's Winner... Notre Dame

Kansas St. vs. Auburn: The Wildcats of Kansas will descend to the Prettiest little village on the Plain looking to steal some of the Tiger's choice morsels. But Coach T has once again sharpened his kitties' claws in the off season, and his Tigers will show that their bite is much worse than their growl. Willard's Winner... Auburn (Watch out Toomer's Corner! This will be the first TP of many this season!)

Tennesse vs. Cal: Whoa Nellie! This will be a good one! Last year, the Bears of Cal lumbered into the Volunteer Holler, only to find Fulmer's faithful to be unhospitable hosts. The Bears will look to return the favor this year by mauling the Vols in their own home den. The blue Bears will scratch, sniff, growl, and claw; but the Volunteer sharpshooters will fire their squirrel guns way too fast, and come home with a nice bearskin rug.
Willard's Winner... In the Donnybrook Game of the Week... Tennessee!

And last but certainly not least!

Oklahoma St. vs. Georgia: Coach Richt and his junk yard dawgs have seen that the SEC just gets no respect in the BCS. For that reason, they will welcome a rowdy outfit of Cowboys to the Classic City this weekend. The Cowboys have been out to pasture for a while, and are coming to town with six guns drawn and looking to have little fun with our beautiful Georgia Peaches. But nobody steals our best girl between the Hedges. Uga and the boys will show that they can protect our house.
Willard's Winner... In a tight one... Georgia! GO DAWGS SIC 'EM!

My New Digs...

Hey Gang, I have been gone from Texas for about a month now. I am unpacked and unfortunately still unemployed. But I wanted to show those of you who have never been to Chattanooga, a little of what my new home looks like. Chattanooga, also called Chattaboogie, is a neat mid sized town of about 100,000 people. The Boogies sits just east of Signal & Lookout Mountains, and has the beautiful Tennessee river running through it. Chattanooga is covered with beautiful trees and lush green grass. The Boogie is growing and has many great attractions. Downtown Chattanooga has for the last decade been revamping itself, and is a neat place to hang out. The Tennessee Aquarium fills two buildings and has thousands of fish and sharks! Every year the Riverbend music festival brings thousands to the riverfront for some good music. There is Rock City, a spot on top of Lookout Mtn where you can see 6 states and Ruby Falls. (See pic below for Rock City) The Boogie has its own minor league Baseball team, the Chattanooga Lookouts. They are lots of fun. All together, I believe that I am going to like it here. I think you would too, so come and visit me sometime. I have an extra bed already made for you, and some adventures in my pocket for you to share.

P.S. By the way, Bonnie looks "Blingtastic" in her new Engagement ring.

Somebody worse than Lawyers...

You have heard them all before, and laughed because they were true; you know, Lawyer jokes. Lawyer jokes are funny because we have all seen lawyers at their worst. We've seen ambulance chasers that prey on the hurting and uninformed. We've also seen lawyers who use loopholes to get their slimey defendants off scot free. And we've seen the slick talking, schmoozing lawyers that toot their own horns, and generally irritate to fool out of us all. But you know, I can respect lawyers to a small extent, because when they use their silver tongues, they are usually doing it for someone elses good. Sure he may be guilty, but it is to his benefit to get out of being punished. (Alright, all you seminary grads; don't lecture me on righteous punishment, I know there is another side. That argument is for later.) I can also respect lawyers somewhat because they are not the lowest form of life on the planet. I can respect lawyers, because at least they are not BANKERS!

Bankers are a pimple on the butt of humanity. You see, lawyers just lie, but Bankers lie and steal your money. Bankers steal your money every chance they get. They have a fee for this and a fee for that, and a fee for assessing fees it seems. They set up all the rules to be in their favor, then they lie and tell you that they are concerned about you. They say: "We exist for you, so that you can put your money in a safe place." Hogwash, we have banks so that Bankers can use your money to loan other people so they can charge interest and line their pockets with our money. (Have you ever noticed that the interest on your savings account is miniscule compared to what Bankers are charging on loans? Have you noticed that your bank has not gone down on any of the fees they charge you, yet everything has become automated, which Bankers sell to us as a way to keep costs down.) You'll pardon me Mr. Banker; if I don't listen to the sweet nothings you wisper in my ear while you rummage through my wallet. You don't fool me Mr. Banker. I know that you are lighting your fat Cuban cigars with the $6.00 fee you assessed me for stepping across your "hallowed" threshold one too many times last month. You know, there are men sitting in jail for doing what Bankers do everyday. I hope they all come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as their savior and lord, and like Zachaeus make ammends for their theivery. But as of right now, all Bankers do for me is make me groan for the second coming of the Christ, so that I might be rid of them forever.

P. S. Did you hear the one about the 1,000 Bankers at the bottom of the ocean?
Yeah, I thought it was a good start too!

Oh how I miss college football, and UGA the best dog ever...

Well gang, I don't know about you, but it has been a tough 5 months since the last College football game. I have tried to appease myself with hockey, basketball, pro football, and baseball, but none of them cure my ills. But now we are only 2 months and some odd days away from the best season of the year. In order to get myself through these doldrums, I have put together a list of reasons why UGA is the best mascot ever. Here they are:

Top 10 reasons why UGA is the best mascot ever:

#10 He's got his own ice machine!

#9 He's tough! Pirates & Ninja's are only around

because UGA allows them to be!

#8 He's been to College!

# 7 He starred in a movie!

(with John Cusak & Kevin Spacey, he's like 2 degrees from Kevin Bacon)

#6 He was rated by SI as the most recognizable mascot!

#5 He's connected in Politics!
(Representative Bob Barr, I didn't have to tell you UGA's name now did I!)

#4 How many other dogs do you know that when he walks

out onto the field, 80,000 people look at their friends and say:

"That's a Dang Fine Dog."

#3 He's great with kids!

#2 Chicks dig him!

#1 He's got a great sense of Humor!

(someone just told UGA that Georgia Tech thought they could beat Georgia!)
(That one's for you Angela)